spit_it_out | OOM: Cell

He sits in the cell he asked for, cross-legged on the bed, and feels better.

He’s known, since the conversation with Mel, that this would happen. Because the truth is, he didn’t just ask for this cell because he needed a place when he felt the Other Guy forcing his way out. It wasn’t just to protect Milliways. It’s as much a safety valve as anything. When his mind can’t see a way clear to the next day, the knowledge that he’s not going to be a danger to anyone, including himself, helps. Also, that he can’t get out unless someone comes to do it. It’s a release from having to deal with it. He can sit here, or try and sleep, and give up responsibility for a while.

His head drops back to rest against the wall. His breath comes easier, and tension bleeds away a little. It’s sick, really. All these years on the run, so that no one can lock him up – and now look. Choosing this. Happier like this.

Maybe Ross was right. Maybe a monster belongs in a cell. He has to admit, sometimes it’s easier than trying to pretend he’s a man.